At my last lesson, I asked my teacher if he still felt that I could pass an audition in November to get into the BMus next year. He thought about it a bit and said, “Well…” I finished his sentence with another question.
“Let’s just say I scraped through the audition, and got into the course, would it be a struggle for me next year?” And he said, in several more words, basically, “Yes”.
Great. No problem, I said. Then I’m not going to do it. I’d rather wait, perhaps if they have a mid-year intake, try then, or even wait out the year, and then audition. I’d much rather spend the rest of this year, and next, studying hard, learning, developing my skills, and go in from a position of strength than try doing it now. I mean, I do need time. I need time to study my theory. Time to read about the different musical periods, what they’re about, which composers lived and composed when. Time to actually get into the world of music, be educated, learn! And then, then I can audition. I’ll feel like I belong. Like I’ve earned the right. Not a fraud.
So, I still have a course of learning and study ahead of me. I’m very, very happy with my decision. It just feels right. And I can breathe, and relax, and push myself without the burden of stress and nerves. I might even do a couple of AMEB (Australian Music Examinations Board) exams next year, just to practise performing in front of official people. Perfect. Just perfect.